How quickly the time elapses!

This is the last semester of my campus life. For the reason of facilitating our working searching, the school compresses full-semester courses in a half. So we have to end our class before the middle ten days of November. Sometimes our schedules hardly have vacancy, from dawn until dark, full. It doesn’t matter, I like such arrangement. It forces us not to waste any precious time. I don’t have the plan of getting further education like most of my classmates. I just want to work as soon as I graduate. So cherishing the eventual days of studying is the only things I can do now.

At the same time, I ought to get preparation for my working interview. Especially speaking, the four largest accounting offices will come to our school to open the publicizing meeting next week. These four accounting offices are all my aspiring companies. Making my resume, preparing my writing examination, and if I am lucky enough, including discussion in a group, all of above are my challenge tasks.

Sometimes I have pure and simple confidence, but sometimes I lose it seriously. I don’t know why, maybe I haven’t write my English diary for a long time, or maybe the vacation two weeks before makes me slack and want to lead a simple life in the hometown. Perhaps that is true. However, ask myself some simple question: are you content with a job that can only give you non-adequate feeling of achievement and with a little salary? Do you have the heart to give up the dream which you are always pursuing? If you deny them, why not lit up your confidence and make great effort to do your best?

I watch a program concerning the group of people called 海归. they went abroad for studying and living at the end of 80s of last century, and came back for working and contributing at the middle of 90s. With their knowledge and experiences in abroad, they became the leading force in the course of construction and development. In this group of people, some of them are famous, such as Tian Suning, the CEO of UT-Stancom Company, Xu Xiaoping, the vice-president of New Oriental Group, and so forth. When were asked why they abandon good living condition abroad and came back home, their answers shake me.

“It’s too cozy, you can see what you will be in the next ten years or even further.”

“Raising a dog, bringing up several babies, driving a car, living in a villa, that’s so boring.”

“The western countries have already developed perfectly, I don’t need to work day and night, and I also can’t find my value.”

“China becomes more and more attractive to human resource and capital for the reason of high-speed development, I can touch the vital force that it emits. I think I could release my energy totally in this condition.”

I admire such people very much. They all have dreams, and are willing to strive for their dreams ignoring gains.

What do these people court? Is that wealth and fame? Maybe that’s true, and for most other people it’s true of course. However, it’s not their ultimate objective. Then what is it? What will they do next? Perhaps this is a question we all would face with.

I remember the days that I worked in the British Council. The office building is located at a modern place. There are so many tall buildings around it and all of them are luxury beyond my recognition. At first I was almost abstracted by quite the views totally. But several days after, I am used to it. The happiness from material wouldn’t last too long. Everyone should live with dreams, hobbies, and careers. If it were not for the mental life, we would die.

It reminds me some words from Guo Zhengwei. He said that it is so pity that a man remains nothing after he spends all his life, notwithstanding he can earn a lot of money. He wants to leave something, such as helping others, donating for weakness; anyhow, he doesn’t want to spend all his life in vain.

Ok, it’s my turn.

好久没写日志了，看着这么些密密麻麻的英文，心里多少还有些成就感，这篇想用中文写，因为想说的太多，英文写太精疲力尽了。

刚送走了学姐，她八月底去英国，现在先回南宁修整一段时日。这段时间办签证，她和她妈妈就趁等签证的空档到处旅游，真爽！我要是也有着落了，日子也会过得省心些。

和学姐聊起了一些人，多少有些感触。丽丽（不知道是不是这么写），财管的另一个学姐，签了上地的一家科技公司，月薪两千多，有住房，一般般，不过她姐姐在北京，和姐夫两人在北京有房有车，两个人都清华毕业，过得不错，这样丽丽在北京有工作，有亲人，其实也挺好的。

另一个梧州的学姐，北化工毕业，在北京闯了十年，现在月薪也有将近五千，但还没有北京户口，什么也没有，我们祖慧都觉得好奇怪。

还有另一个学姐，一毕业时回广西，不过还没有半年就打道回北京了，原因好像是忍受不了家乡的低工资。

祖慧的妈妈是广西财经干部培养学院（好像是这么叫）的教授，学院里那些老师的孩子除了祖慧外，基本都回去当老师了。

对了，现在住在我们宿舍的一个投资系的学姐，她原来的舍友有一个是桂林的，毕业后在北京找工作不太顺利，后来就回桂林了。在一家投资公司，估计薪水也不高。

爸爸学生的孩子，今年高考，现在已经顺利地被录取，分到国民经济管理专业。这个孩子还是比较积极主动的，原来和我不认识，但通过家长的关系联系到我，向我打听我们学校的事，现在的孩子都挺有想法的，不像我高考那会儿，瞎头瞎脑，不知道怎么就撞到中财来了。她很想来北京上学，还想毕业后出国深造。

祖慧妈妈一个同事的小孩，按她妈妈的话说是一个一米八零的帅哥，也是今年高考，报的北京林业大学，好像是建筑设计专业，北林一个很不错的专业，他也是也个想来北京上学的年轻人。

说起了这么多人，感觉大家都想在北京，或者说想在大城市，原来就在北京念书的更是不愿意回去的。祖慧的妈妈也是鼓励我们要出去，趁年轻在外面见见世面，留学就是她妈妈支持的。祖慧也不愿回去，觉得回去太安逸了，祖慧应该也是想去外企的，总之没心考公务员，包括国家公务员。

说起公务员，听祖慧妈妈说我才知道，广西财政厅每年要十多个应届毕业生，而且只从教育部原来直属的五所高校要，包括中财在内。他们这一届要了3个，丽丽本来也是要去那的，但被广西省内的不知道叫什么学校的干部子弟顶掉了，结果就只能安排在南宁财政局，她觉得被下放了，结果就签了北京的公司。做公务员感觉没有背景的话要想升迁只能捱年头，副科正科地捱。七八年九十年，然后就到了女人的玻璃天花板了。而且拿钱也不多，祖慧妈妈说年轻人受不了一个月拿一千来块的。难怪那么多人搞副业，实际按照规定，公务员通常是不允许担任非国有企业的要职的。

柳州的工资水平不高，但高级商场还是天天营业，可见在柳州赚钱走偏行的人大有人在，六合彩，地下钱庄，本分工作大概是消费不起的，感觉柳州就是那种撑死胆大的，饿死胆小的地方。也许在哪都是这样的吧，学校是一种规则，社会是另一种规则。教育背景的优劣与挣钱多少不成正比，努力工作程度与挣钱多少也不成正比。“让那些年轻人去为理想而奋斗吧，我们就在这尽情享受社会主义的美好”，唉，人生观事业观我们的差距真大。

说了那么多，怎么老是钱啊钱的？！炜的穷富语录说：“为钱而工作的人永远不会成为富人。”的确，物质给人带来的快乐只在从无到有的过渡阶段，习惯吃鱼翅与习惯吃青菜满足程度不会差得很远的。既然这样，北京和广西又有什么分别呢？是一种梦想吧，大多数人应该不光光为了提高物质生活水平而迁往大都市的。

说了那么多，到底想说什么？头脑乱得很，迷茫，考虑太多反而寸步难行。

先睡觉吧。

I haven’t listened to hip-pop of Jay for a long time. His songs were my favorite once. So did Zhou’s. He sang Qingtian for me soulfully a long time ago. I remain it fresh in my mind. Now I’m listening to the latest album of Jay, The Chopin of September. He released it at the end of last year. It was reported that the sale amounts of the very album broke the record in Asia and was up to 30 million several months after its present. I think he gained the best male vocalist award again in the pop music ceremony. I would fain admit that he is excellent, he leads a new fad, defines what pop music is in a new way. His fans are young people mainly aged from 16—25, also included middle-ages. He often creates the music by himself, with his partner Fang Wenshan as librettist. His rhythmic songs attract me very much. I like to imitate his vocality and follow him as possible as I can. Because of its difficulty, I acquire great satisfaction every single moment when I complete it myself. It gave me a lot of fun in faith.

A new term comes, a great deal of pressures come also. I have to be separated from Jay for a while. Focusing more on my academic and internship, I hardly get close to my hobbies. I put music, novels, films aside, plunge into the endless specialty studying. Sometimes I feel I become older. Every moment when I see the passional performers and crazy spectators, I would be moved. It seems that I move far away from it, and the crazy occasion won’t happen on me from now on. It only occurred in my young age, or in my memory. I have to become mature, it’s an inevitable step.

Someone says young heart and mature thought can go hand in hand. Maybe it is. But at the same time, I don’t refuse to be an adult. You can find different excitement in different life phase. Though it’s impossible to go back and play a role just like before, it doesn’t matter. Just enjoy yourself.

This is the last day I was employed by British Council in this semester. From now on, I will launch my final exam program. From now on, I will learn English in greater effort. And from now on, I will accelerate framing my schedule and depicting my future blueprint.

Last night I chatted with Zhuang, she has already been the internship of State Capital Investment Cooperation with the other three classmates. They will spend the next month in Tianjing and be engaged in specialty training from occupation. The accommodation has already been prepared for them. The only thing they should do is to go there and be on duty.

It seems that every one has on the right position already and every one has realized his objective and begins making effort for it. What about me? Where am I? Which direction I should orient? What I pursue ultimately? I can’t answer them definitely, even though I thought about it a long time ago.

Is that going after luxury life? Not exactly. Maybe that’s my dream ever. Or maybe I exaggerated the function of it. I acknowledge that my heart fills up like a balloon and it’s about to burst the first time when I passed though the Luft Shopping Centre, the first glance when I took a look at the gracious madam who was in and out the exclusive restaurant. I know that was my desire in the past time. But these days I have new feeling. Passing by such extravagant architectures frequently these days, I felt my passion for it was consumed gradually and even disappeared. I know I become used to it, to what I saw and what happened around me. That wouldn’t intrigue my aspiration constantly.

What do I want on earth? That’s an endless topic.